Example 3: Destructive Behavior and Negotiation (Family Checkup)

Video length: 1:33


(Scene 1: Dad gets angry)

Dad: Sandra get in here!

Daughter: What?

Dad: What’s the meaning of this?

Daughter: I don’t know!

Dad: Don’t tell me that! Did you do this or didn’t you?

Daughter: Yeah I guess so.

Dad: What the hell did you do that for!

Daughter: You wouldn’t let me go with my friends!

Dad: So if I don’t let you go with your friends, you’re going to smash things and think you’re get your way, well your mistaken. I’m going to smash some of your CDs.

Daughter: You can’t do that!

Dad: Well just try me!

(Scene 2: Dad remains calm)

Dad: Sandra come in here please.

Daughter: What?

Dad: Did you do this?

Daughter: Yeah, I guess so.

Dad: Was it because I would not let you go with your friends?

Daughter: I don’t know.

Dad: Sandra, being upset is ok, but destroying things to get your way is not a reasonable way of expressing your anger.

Daughter: I don’t see why not. You’re not reasonable with me.

Dad: Let’s not get into that right now. What needs to happen first is you need to clean this up. Then we need to sit down and talk about ways that you can get mad without destroying things.

Daughter: Well how am I supposed to do that?

Dad: Let’s talk about that later. Let’s get this clean up.

Daughter: Ok!