Family Checkup

Do you encourage positive behavior habits in your teenager on a daily basis?

Encouragement is key to building confidence and a strong sense of self. Consistent encouragement helps youth feel good about themselves and gives them confidence to: try new activities, develop new friendships, explore their creativity, and tackle difficult tasks. It also helps parents promote cooperation and reduce conflict.

Underachievement in School and Daily Encouragement

• Negative example: Dad reacts to failure
• Positive example: Dad builds on success

Encouragement promotes a strong sense of self because it sends three main messages to your child:

You can do it! Youth believe they can do things if parents:

• help them break a problem down into smaller parts
• remind them of their strengths and past successes
• encourage them by sharing how they have dealt with challenges

You have good ideas! Youth believe they have good ideas if parents:

• ask them to share their opinions and feelings
• listen to what they have to say
• ask them for input concerning family plans and events
• ask them for ideas to solve family problems

You are important! Youth know they are important if parents:

• remember what they have told them
• make time for them each day
• attend school functions and extracurricular activities
• let them know that they are thinking about them when they can’t be with them
• display things they have made and recognitions they receive from school or the community

Practices That are Discouraging

• Being sarcastic or negative about a child’s ability to be successful
• Comparing a child to brothers and sisters
• Taking over when a child’s progress is slow
• Reminding a child of past failures

Practice Skills

Video: Praise for Positive Behavior

When giving praise for cooperation:

• Make it simple: “Thank you.”
• Do it right away.
• Be specific about what you like.
• Never miss an opportunity to encourage behavior or acts you would like to see repeated.

Video: Reviewing Behavior Change Plans

When reviewing behavior change plans:

• Check each step of the plan.
• Praise positive behaviors.
• Give incentives immediately.
• Remember to review the plan with your child every day.