Question 2: Encouragement

Do you encourage positive behavior habits in your teenager on a daily basis?

Encouragement is key to building confidence and a strong sense of self. Consistent encouragement helps youth feel good about themselves and gives them confidence to: try new activities, develop new friendships, explore their creativity, and tackle difficult tasks. It also helps parents promote cooperation and reduce conflict.

Underachievement in school and daily encouragement

• Negative Example: Dad reacts to failure
• Positive Example: Dad builds on success

Encouragement promotes a strong sense of self because it sends three main messages to your child:

You can do it! Youth believe they can do things if parents

• Help them break a problem down into smaller parts
• Remind them of their strengths and past successes
• Encourage them by sharing how they have dealt with challenges

You have good ideas! Youth believe they have good ideas if parents

• Ask them to share their opinions and feelings
• Listen to what they have to say
• Ask them for input concerning family plans and events
• Ask them for ideas to solve family problems

You are important! Youth know they are important if parents

• Remember what they have told you
• Make time for them each day
• Attend school functions and extracurricular activities
• Let them know that you are thinking about them when you can’t be with them
• Display things they have made and recognitions they receive from school or the community

Practices that are Discouraging

• Being sarcastic or negative about your child’s ability to be successful
• Comparing a child to brothers and sisters
• Taking over when a child’s progress is slow
• Reminding your child of past failures

Practice Skills

Video: Praise for Positive Behavior

When giving praise for cooperation:

• Make it simple: “Thank you”
• Do it right away
• Be specific about what you like
• Never miss an opportunity to encourage behavior or acts you would like to see repeated!

Video: Reviewing Behavior Change Plans

When reviewing behavior change plans:

• Check each step of the plan
• Praise positive behaviors
• Give incentives immediately
• Remember to review the plan with your child every day!

Download the PDF

• Family Checkup: Encouragement (PDF, 115Kb)